Hipsters playing sports!

I think your muscles
are purely ornamental
I think they’re just for show
just like an instrumental
I can’t really rush the net
no medical or dental
Proud of your farm team
my style’s more continental
I’m the drinking team rep
take down a whole beer tentful
I do my warm ups
listening to Barney Bentall

But if you hold my cardigan
We’ll go play some badminton

On the court, on the lawn
put me on, put me on
Don’t pick me last
I’ll put on a show
And if you want to see me
go, go, go, go
Then take me where the pale ale flows

I like your skinny jeans
they’re good for all athletics
No need to shop at MEC
it’s like your wearing spandex
How did you fit that paperback in your back pocket?
The Unbearable Lightness of Being helps you jump high
that’s your secret!
You’re making me a mix tape while you run
mad respect
Breathing hard is analogue
yeah, you’re the best!

And if I like your moustache
we’ll do the hundred meter dash

Chorus

I get most my exercise
from frolicking
Black coffee is low carb
you won’t find me in the gym
You want endorphins
just have an orgasm
I’ll pass on fitness class
I’m fit at having fun
I’ve heard that muscles
are good for the immune system
No need to bench press
just play accordion
Ben Brown don’t need to bench press
he plays the drums!

I see fine through my Ray Bans
they block out the beach bunny spray tans